its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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