I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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