I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
