Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize