Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
