Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
