WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
