Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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