South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My vagina is officially offended.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
