pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
