is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
