i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
