remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize