:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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