similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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