there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
