we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize