I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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