she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
