I've blown a few things in my day
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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