I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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