I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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