i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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