I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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