So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
