But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
