You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
