she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Holy sore nipples Batman
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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