I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
