1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
