Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I forget how to act sober
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
