yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
