The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i don't like sucking hair
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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