so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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