Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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