I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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