My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
