All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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