Me. At least after what I've been through.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize