I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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