pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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