As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
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Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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