After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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