dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Randomize
