I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
