google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
