): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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