What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
