I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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