he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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