So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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