My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
