...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
now i know why i became what i already was.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
