For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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