I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
