thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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