Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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