I wish my penis had an off switch
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
