whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
