We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
