yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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