Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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