lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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