I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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